My Heart is Heavy

My heart is heavy. In a good sort of way. For those of you who have read Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love", you may know what I'm talking about. I'm in the midst of it and have been altogether struck by so many things. I hate to admit that I didn't want to pick up this book because I knew that it would be convicting. I just didn't know HOW convicting.

There have been many times in life that I've feared death. Not my own death, however, but I've feared those close to me being taken from me. It started when a good friend from high school was killed instantly in a car accident when I was 16. That incident alone really rocked my world....although it made my faith stronger in the long run, it was so life changing. Life is fragile and I've lived by the motto that I could die at anytime since then. I've tried to make the most out of every opportunity and to be ready for when the day comes that I myself will die. I will spend eternity with Christ and I look forward to the day when that will be a reality!

However, reading the book, I realized that I only grasped PART of the concept.....yes, I could die tomorrow and I'm ready to die tomorrow if I do.....but I honestly didn't WANT to think about others around me that will die. I feared that my friends and family that don't know Christ will be the ones to die but I just HOPED that they wouldn't. People are dying everyday without the knowledge of Christ. Every single day! And, I'm just hoping that they don't die.....but we all die someday. My focus has sadly been on myself and my own personal walk with Christ. I am convicted. Majorly convicted.

I don't want to merely say, "I want to meet people. I want to serve. I want to give. I want to share my relationship with Christ. I want to think more of eternity than this life."

But, I will do these things. I will be intentional. Even if it kills me....because, really, this life is but a vapor and my focus needs to be on eternity, much like Francis Chan points out in his book. 

No, this is not a book review because I'm terrible at book reviews :) But, it's to get you thinking just like it got me thinking....where is our focus?? On the here and now or on eternity?