I Will Go.....Or Will I?

It all started with an orange julius craving. Last night, I was tired, frustrated, and all I wanted was an orange julius. I began making it to discover I had forgotten to buy a gallon of milk after work yesterday. So, at 9:30 last night, I drove to HyVee to buy a gallon of milk to finish making my orange julius. On the way, I sang at the top of my lungs "I Will Go" by Starfield.

To the desperate eyes and reaching hands
To the suffering and the lean
To the ones the world has cast aside
Where you want me I will be

A few minutes later, I arrived at HyVee. A man sat as he waited for a ride....he looked hopeless and very discouraged. A woman in near rags walked out with just a few necessities in her hands, perhaps to get through the week. How quickly I forgot the words I had just sang as I stuck my nose up and walked right past them, judging them the entire way. With a hurried step, I walked past people who were trying to make some cash stocking shelves. I even half ignored someone trying to make small talk with me...it could have been a perfect opportunity to show the love of Christ. With my gallon of milk in hand, I quickly walked to my car and started it.

I will go
Lord send me
To the world
To the lost
To the poor and hungry
Take everything I am
I will go... Send me

As the music kept going, I looked in my rearview mirror. Instantly, I felt sick to my stomach as I thought of what a hypocrite I had just been. My orange julius didn't taste as good as I kept thinking again and again of how I could sing one thing and live another. I began wrestling with the question of "Will I go, Lord?" Not so much the big things like moving, but will I leave my "comfortable" lifestyle to interact with those that are in need? Will I give up all my "plans" for a day just to sit and listen to a person who needs a listening ear? Will I forget about "what people with say" or my "reputation"? Honestly, I wish I could say that I will go.....but I don't and I walk right past those in need. Then, this morning the realization of what Jesus did on this earth....DYING for the man waiting for a ride, the poor, the rich, and me, the hypocrite. Wow....*sigh* and all this started because of an orange julius craving. Thank you Lord for showing me compassion. I pray I may have it on others....I pray I would go and leave my "comfortable" lifestyle.